Toddlers are messy. I understand this. I do. Really. I pretend my children have phases of untidiness. Like, peeing everywhere. It’s a phase, right?! Once they’re completely potty trained it will stop. At least that’s what I’m hoping. Currently, they’re in the no I don’t want to eat this so I’ll squish it in my hands and toss it across the room stage. And I’m getting all bent out of shape over it. I’m quite displeased. Irritated. Okay…I’m seriously freakin’ annoyed.
In this pic you may see a sweet little boy who loves ketchup. But what happened next second ended up looking like a scene from a horror movie. Oh, it was just an accident you may say. Nope. On purpose…with an evil little laugh at the end. Every time we take them out to eat we make the decision that we’re never doing it again. And then we do it again. We’re in denial that our kids have become little monsters when we take them to restaurants. They use to be sooooo good. In fact, that is the #1 compliment we got from strangers – how well-behaved our children were while eating. Now, it’s like were trying to catch and hold down three Tasmanian devils.
In this pic you may see a sweet little girl who is enjoying a popsicle on a hot day. What I remember after snapping this photo is bright red popsicle everywhere. On her face. On her clothes. On the patio. On the furniture. A mess. I know she’s only two. I can’t expect her to be able to eat bright red popsicle without a drip. True. And that’s why I call myself a now restrained and repressed obsessive compulsive clean freak. Because I have to deal with this. And I am trying oh so hard.
In this pic you may see two little girls and their doggy who… Okay, the pic is exactly what you see. I can’t stop it. No matter what I threaten, no matter how long they sit in time out, no matter how many swats they get on their bottom they still do it. Unfortunately, they’ve started climbing on the tables in restaurants too. It’s a serious problem that this mother cannot put an end to. It’s embarrassing. Talk about an awkward moment when your waitress is trying to take your order and your kids are sliding across the table like they’re bob-sledders trying to win gold! I can feel my blood pressure rise just thinking about our next dining adventure.
Someone please tell me I’m not alone. Please tell me that your toddlers are truly terrible too. Advice? Anyone?
The Triplet Farm 
You aren’t alone. Our son (going to be 2 in November) loves to climb on tables and everything else for that matter. And when our daughter was 1-2 years old we rarely went out to eat. She would end up crying and we would have to get our food to go. But you power through. It does get better.
from a mother of two boys, and a former mother’s day out toddler teacher i can only say this…they will not be toddlers forever. the days are unbelievably, horrifically long…but the years, mama, are so short. bounty paper towels and keeping them as close to naked as possible (less laundry and less stains to deal with, also quicker in and out of the bath) was how i survived it.